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Ssshh: What’s Really Under the Tree

December 23, 2009

I’d been casting about for a suitable business and the idea suddenly came to me: I will sell invisible suits.  I have to hold my plan a little close to the chest here because anyone could take the idea and run with it before I have a chance to work out all the details. So I won’t – as they say – give away the farm here, but I’ll paint a broad picture.

Consider: if there were invisible suits floating around for sale, wouldn’t you want to have one?  I bet you would. Now, I must point out: an invisible suit is not the same as an empty suit.  We all know what they are and we have enough of them already.

Here’s how it works. You order an invisible suit and within a few days it arrives in a lovely box. You open the box and voila! There it is! You take it out, you and your friends admire it, and from here you decide if you want to a) send it back, b) hang it up, or c) wear it. You may also wish to d) try it on.  But this is only a fraction of the magic that awaits you in ordering the invisible suit. There is the nonstop hilarity that ensues from the moment the order is placed. The stories. You, your family and friends, doubled over laughing, pausing only to eat dinner.  Better than a movie, because it would last for – what – a week?  We are not charging for that. We WILL charge for the box, which as I mentioned is lovely, I’m thinking something a la Hermes with the stripes and cotton ribbon that takes a while to untie, so there is also the suspense as you open the box.

There should be people around (I recommend a small crowd); though now I think about it, there could also be a good story if there were only you.  You open the box and look! Nothing! But somehow it looks better than you expected, and you breathe a sigh of satisfaction. And just now the slogan comes to me: The Invisible Suit: Better than Nothing!

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