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Diamonds Kiev

February 12, 2012

Listen, friends. Some stories need to be posted twice. I’ll draw the line at thrice because that is just cheap. That’s like trying to stretch porridge and I would not do that to you. We are approaching the first anniversary of the Mayor of Kiev’s daughter’s jewelry heist and that is no small occasion. Here’s how it was a year and one week ago:

I’ve decided to break with my habit of not following the news and occasionally read the local paper, which is peppered with scandals far and wide.  It’s the world in an acorn.

So I’d like to know what the mayor of Kiev’s daughter was doing with $5.5 million dollars worth of jewelry that got stolen while she was riding in (what else?) a luxury car in Paris.

Just the other day I was giving my daughter a lesson in what is Communism because she got these wire-rimmed glasses that made her look like a young Trotskyite. Adorable. With the braids, all she needs is a little tunic.

I told her about the czar and how the family got ousted because they were crazy rich and everyone else was desperately poor and they did not seem to care. I forgot to mention Anastasia who reputedly survived the execution because the diamonds sewn into her bodice deflected the bullets.

I editorialized a little: I said it was very sad that they were killed, and that things did not improve much anyway but that was history.  And now this.

Like any good journalist I decide to check my facts.  Who IS the mayor of Kiev these days, anyway, and how did his daughter wind up with so much frippery?  Here is what I find at the BBC:

Kristina Chernovetskaya said she had 4.5m euros-worth (£4m) of jewels stolen as she drove into the city from Charles de Gaulle airport.

She was being driven along the motorway in a luxury hire car when the thief struck, she told police.

They were stuck in traffic in the northern suburbs when a man wrenched open a car door and made off with her handbag, said Ms Chernovetskaya.

She said the bag contained jewels, rings and earrings with a value of more than $6m.

Her chauffeur gave chase but the thief got away, says the BBC’s Hugh Schofield in Paris.

I must know more about the mayor of Kiev, so I turn to the sometimes disreputable but omnipresent Wikipedia, and find a clue:

Mayor of Kiev (Ukrainian: Київський міський голова) is the mayor of the municipality of Kiev, the capital of Ukraine. The current mayor is Leonid Chernovetsky, who has held the position since March 26, 2006.

As of December 2006, the rating of Chernovetsky decreased to 8%.[citation needed] That is mostly due to his betrayal of those who elected him, most notably through his increasing of the price of household services (such as hot and cold running water and gas) by 340%.

I decide to look further, and come upon a report in the Taipai Times which reports that the theft occurred, the French police confirmed it was the Mayor’s daughter, and the Mayor’s office laughed, saying Kristina Chernovetskaya was in Kiev that day.

Somewhere between Hollywood and Kiev, phones are ringing off the hook.

That’s what I call continuous improvement, Russian-style.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. whatsizname permalink
    February 12, 2012 11:07 pm

    I heard the thief took off at a great gait!

  2. February 13, 2012 3:24 am

    and i heard he was in a rush
    as he was not prepared for valentine’s day…
    the hoofing clatter of his frenzied gait
    was heard throughout Paris
    that night

    the engagement has been dissolved.

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