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Why Fly

July 26, 2012

Dear Blank Airlines,

I am returning to you the unused vouchers for lunch, dinner and breakfast at the Hotel M. in Roissypole, France, issued by your company after canceling our return flight to Chicago. Thank you for treating my daughter and me to a bed and three meals at the Hotel M. We slept in the bed but did not partake of the meals. Having given us one thing we didn’t want, in the guise of compensation you gave us a few more: an offer of three meals and a day-long stay at an airport hotel, bringing the total to five unwanted things brought to us by your friendly skies.

Thank you for giving your flight attendants at CDG a slip of paper containing the email address of the PR department should I wish to offer additional feedback beyond my first response at the airport to hearing my flight was canceled, not for reasons of weather or mechanics, but – according to these same attendants — because the plane never left the ground. Thank you for giving your representative in India the same email, which he advised was the only port of call. Thank you for assuring him it would not be possible for a customer of Blank to speak to anyone by phone, but that I could address any correspondence it to the public relations department and perhaps receive a word of apology, or, like pennies tossed from a carriage window to the destitute, a couple of Blank Miles toward my next voyage.

I am not a preferred customer of your airline. I am not a Frequent Flyer or whatever is your endearment for the faithful.  When you can cope with me as deftly as you handle baggage and turbulence; when you are as friendly on land as you are in the sky, then will I consider making Blank my special airline.

Until then: Have at it, Chester!


Your Bread if not your Butter

6 Comments leave one →
  1. Bill permalink
    July 26, 2012 2:49 pm

    Sorry that you had such a bad traveling experience. Did you discover wonderful things in India?

    • August 12, 2012 9:01 pm

      I did not go to India, I went to France, and spoke to a representative of United Airlines in India.

      And it wasn’t bad, it was just corporate. Not to mention nothing is bad and nothing is good. There are only the things we think we like and the things we think we don’t like. Had I gone to India it might have been more extreme, and possibly funnier.

      I would love to go to India.

  2. July 26, 2012 2:52 pm

    But you got to have a vacation in France! That’s a nice thing.

  3. July 26, 2012 3:57 pm


  4. July 26, 2012 6:01 pm

    DID you send this to them? I hope so…

  5. August 2, 2012 3:19 pm

    What bugs me the most is that the airlines have created so many of their own hassles (which, of course, they share with us and at time even blame us for): they charge to check bags, so oversized carryons spill from every bin; they create so many “boarding classes” (Premier Platinum Executive Plus, anyone? What the hell is that???) that the old, logical approach of fill-up-the-plane-from-the-back-forward has been obliterated; and the lack of available real people with useful information and the power to solve problems has pretty much ensured that any customer with even the smallest glitch will walk away utterly frustrated. And now I hear the airlines want to close many/most smaller regional airports (basically anything other than LAX/SFO/ORD/JFK)–just putting another nail in their own coffins. Just saddle up my horse–I’ll ride to my next destination.

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